


Strangers Again

by LinaBenliven



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Developing Relationship, Estinien Wyrmblood Needs a Hug, Estinien Wyrmblood is bad at feelings, Feels, Light Angst, M/M, Messy Thoughts, Post-Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward, Post-Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaBenliven/pseuds/LinaBenliven
Summary: Aymeric and Estinien have a long overdue conversation about Estinien's place in a new Ishgard.Set after the events of Heavensward.
Relationships: Aymeric de Borel/Estinien Wyrmblood
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Strangers Again

“Are you trying to leave without waking me?” Aymeric says it softly but Estinien hears that underlying tone in his voice. The one that suggests Aymeric had known this was coming. “Because we already established that we no longer had to hide this away anymore.” He adds as he sits up, his hair messy from both sleep and the night's previous activities.

“I must confess, I did feel you would sleep for longer than you did.” Estinien keeps his voice quiet, already not looking forward to the conversation that needed to be had. He knew that it needed to happen but he had hoped that it could have been a conversation they had once he was far away from Ishgard in the form of letters. Partly because he hadn’t wanted to see Aymeric’s reaction to his words, and partly because he had no idea how to put his feelings into words. He had been hoping that by delaying the conversation he would have a chance to figure out what he wanted to say.

“And once again you dodge the question I asked.” Aymeric can’t help but smile slightly as he talks. The truth was he had known the answer the minute that he had asked the question. He had felt the tension in the air when Estinien had talked to him over the past few days and he knew Estinien well enough to know when the other man was trying to distance himself. “What is troubling you?” The question causes Estinien to pause where he had been collecting his things and look at the other man. Aymeric was now sitting up fully and watching him, something that usually made him uncomfortable when other people did it.

It usually made him uncomfortable because it meant that he was going to have to answer questions that he deemed too personal, or they were simply being too nosey. It happened a lot and he had gotten into trouble on several occasions from the Temple Knights for jumping onto the already crumbling buildings of the Holy See just to avoid conversations.

But when Aymeric watched him, he felt like he was in trouble and it had nothing to do with the other man’s position as Lord Commander. He just always felt that Aymeric saw right through his words, no matter how convincing he thought he was. He always saw the truth that Estinien thought he had hidden deep down and he always managed to coax it out of him. To the point that the former Dragoon didn’t see the point in lying to him this time. He had planned to be honest during the letters as it was but he can’t seem to force the words past his lips when Aymeric was looking at him.

“Early morning workout?” Aymeric said it softly, hoping that it would lighten the tense atmosphere surrounding them both. He knew there was something that Estinien wasn’t telling him but he knew from experience that if he pushed him for an answer he wouldn't get one. Estinien could be extremely tightlipped when he wanted to be.

It was something that Aymeric didn’t usually mind, but given how much had changed recently. Not only for Ishgard but for the pair of them as well. Now that Aymeric was free to lead Ishgard in what was considered the state’s best interests, he had been free to pursue a relationship with someone he truly loved, rather than marrying for political reasons like he had been looking at under the rule of the Archbishop. He had chosen Estinien without question, partly out of his own selfish desire to stop hiding that part of himself away from those around him. But now that he took a moment to step back and think about it the sudden changes had probably unsettled Estinien and that meant his boyfriend had to find his place again in Ishgard. Something that the four high houses had always made particularly difficult to those like Estinien that hadn’t had the best start in life. 

“Aymeric,” Estinien sighs a little and shakes his head at Aymeric’s light teasing before leaning back on his feet as he tried to figure out just how to phrase what he needed to say. “Ishgard no longer has any need for an Azure Dragoon and I doubt that they wish to be reminded of my final acts as a Dragoon any longer.” He finally settles on even though it feels inadequate compared to the swirling mass of thoughts and fears that had been running through his head the past few days. 

“We will find a place for you in Ishgard Estinien, regardless of whether that is with the Eorzean Alliance as a dragoon or within my personal guard.” Aymeric responds almost instantly as he climbs out of bed to sit on the floor opposite Estinien, his hands resting on top of his as an act of comfort. “We talked about this.” He adds, giving his partner’s hands a gentle squeeze as he talks.

“I know we talked about it, but I don’t want them fearing me for what I did because of Niddhogg.” Estinien breaks the eye contact that he had made once Aymeric had joined him on the floor. He disliked talking about what had happened when Niddhog had possessed him. It made him feel sick thinking about what could have happened if he hadn’t been stopped in time. It was something he still got nightmares about and it was becoming increasingly harder to hide these from Aymeric now that they were sharing a bed on a much regular basis.

“But you weren’t in control, we’re all aware of that.” Aymeric keeps his voice soft as he drops his gaze to where his and Estinien’s hands were laced together. “No one holds you responsible for Niddhogg consuming you.” He adds, his head jerking up when Estinien pulled back and stood up.

“They should Aymeric!” Estinien can’t hold back the thoughts from spilling over and he took a shaky breath. “I was trained not to let the Eye consume me, and still I let it. I let my hatred for Niddhogg consume me and they should be scared of me. I wouldn’t want a Dragoon that easily influenced by the Eye to protect me if I was them.” He adds as his fists bunch at his side.

“Then what do you want to do?” Aymeric asks when Estinien pauses to take a breath, noting how the question makes the Azure Dragoon falter.

“I… I think it’s best if I leave Ishgard.” He says after a few minutes have passed. “I need time to get used to this, and I think I just need some distance from everything to do that.” He can’t bring himself to look at Aymeric as he talks, knowing that his words will no doubt wound the other man. It had taken so long for Aymeric to be able to be open with who he was and have Ishgard accept that, and here he was throwing all that away because he was overwhelmed. It couldn’t feel fair.

“Okay, if that’s what you feel is best for you. I support you..” Aymeric says, ignoring the pain in his chest. He didn’t want Estinien to leave, but he didn’t feel that he could be selfish enough to demand that he stayed. What kind of a relationship would they have if he did do that? “I suppose it's too much to ask you to write?” He attempts to joke, but the Dragoon must have seen through it because he crosses over and pulls him into a tight hug.

“When have I ever written Aymeric?” Estinien says softly as he rests their heads together, part of him wishing that he didn’t have to leave, even though he knew it was for the best. Distance would help him refocus and come back with a clearer idea of his place in the new Ishgard Aymeric was going to build. “But yes, I will make an effort to write to you.” He reassures before gently letting go of the Lord Commander.

“Come back when you feel ready Estinien.” Aymeric says softly, gently pulling Estinien back for a final kiss, before watching the now former Dragoon take his bag and leave via the window.


End file.
